And that is why I have not gone running to New Jersey, or Canada, or California to have a legal ceremony. This is a great story; it spells it out so well, the problems that we still have to face even if we get married. There are so many hurdles to be overcome that heterosexuals never have to even think about, let alone get past. Gays who choose to marry still have to protect themselves and their families in so many ways...It is not fair that I have to worry about whether or not my marriage will be recognized in another state. It's not fair that as a "domestic partner" (I hate that term) I have all the obligations of a married person, but I am entitled to none of the rights. I cannot take my partner's last name without spending money and going to court and filing to legally change my name. I can be sued for child support (well I could if we were younger!) but some insurance companies will not let me put her on my medical insurance. It appears that as long as we stay here in DC we are fine, within limits, but if we go elsewhere there is a good chance that our status as domestic partners won't even be recognized; god forbid we go on a trip, something happens to one of us and we need medical care! My partner might not be considered 'immediate family' or 'next of kin', so she could not give her consent to medical treatment for me, could not visit me in intensive care, could not carry out my wishes as far as whether I wish resuscitation or not (I don't), and could not claim my body if I were to die! What if we want to move to another state? We have to do all kinds of investigating and research to make sure that our relationship will not be deemed nonexistent, or worse yet, illegal! Slowly but surely the country is beginning to realize that this situation is not going to just fade into the background; gay people have just as much right as anyone else to marry the person they love, and to protect that spouse and their family. Why does this country insist on trying to make us second class citizens and treat us as if we're going to ruin something if they allow us to get married? I've heard so many people say that to allow gays to marry would ruin the sanctity of marriage, but no one has yet been able to explain how.
I'm going to end this before it turns into a rant. (and I feel it coming on.) It's just ridiculous that the Federal Government will not stop dragging their feet and do what we all know they're going to eventually end up doing: allow us the same rights and benefits as the rest of your citizens. Allow us to 'love, honor, and cherish, till death do us part' whoever we choose, not who you tell us we can choose.
3 comments:
With all the hate, war and misery in this world today, is it really necessary to deprive people who truly love one another the right to be happy? The worst part is health insurance. If you have a life partner, gay or straight, they should be able to receive your medical benefits if they are available. I am still seething at the government over the SSI thing, and the more I see, it is making me become one disillusioned chick.
LGBT Americans deserve to have the same rights as all other peoples in this nation. I agree that the wheel is turning to slowly, far to slowly.
I suppose it must be this way, only WASP men in this country have not had to fight for respect and look where that has gotten us.
Thanks for stopping by my story last week Pookie...onward and upward.
mark
Your story is excellent, I can't wait to read more of your writing.
What you said is so true, but it's so weird when you think about it; it's always been men who have caused all the trouble, and primarily WASPs. (Not men in general, groups like the Spanish Inquisition,the plantation/slave owners, the Klan, those are the men I mean)and yet these men are the ones who've never had to march or fight or protect their balls/necks...It's a strange society we live in, when the ones who cause all the trouble, the ones who get complained about the most, are the ones who've always been the "downpressor". (Jamaican term for oppressor)
You're right, the wheel is turning far too slowly. I pray that I will get to see a world where gays can stand before a minister anywhere in the country and legally take their partner in marriage if they choose, and will have the same rights in their marriage as heterosexuals have always had.
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